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Question: Coach, what are your youth football team’s defensive coordinator’s favorite movies?

Here are his top 5. 

1. Varsity Blues

2. Showgirls  

3. Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit

4. Three Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain

5. Iron Eagle (all of them)  

Question : Coach, not sure if you’ve been following this situation in Michigan (https://www.clickondetroit.com/sports/decision-upheld-ending-woodhaven-warriors-football-season-postseason-activities). What advice can you give if your team’s season is ended prematurely by league officials?

I am certainly no stranger to having to battle league efforts to end my youth football team’s reign of terror. As many of you know, the assistant to the league director for the youth football league in which I coach hates me for giving him an atomic wedgie in high school. He tried to suspend my DC for his ill-fated “trust fall” off the back of his Chrysler Lebaron in 2015, which prompted me to retain my cousin the workers’ comp attorney as our team’s legal counsel. It proved to be the wisest decision I’ve ever made, as he’s gotten our team out of innumerable quandaries with the league, the local school system, and the court system. And all of that for the low price of getting access to my parents’ timeshare in Westminster, South Carolina. 

So my best advice is to call in the lawyers and fight as hard as you need to in order to keep the season going. Lawsuits, TROs, permanent injunctions, administrative hearings, petitions to judicially dissolve the league — whatever it takes, you do it. Your players deserve nothing less.