Special Cocktail Party Mailbag-October 16, 2017: Barking at UFraud (Florida) Fans

Question: With Georgia on a bye week this week, what can we do as a fan base to best prepare for the game against Florida in two weeks?

This is like a belt-high, inner half of the plate fastball to Chipper Jones in 1999. To start, do not dignify them by referring to them as “Florida.” They are UFraud. And I mean that literally, given the recent credit card fraud charges.

Beyond that, the answer to your question is easy—for the next two weeks, if you see UFraud fans, you bark at them. No exceptions. You see an elderly lady walking into a funeral home for visitation with a UF pin on? You run up, block the entrance, and bark at her. You see a mom dropping off her three-year old at preschool in an SUV bearing a UF sticker? You peel into the parking lot, bring your car to a screeching halt, get out, run over, and bark at both of them on their way in the building. You see a WWII veteran coming out of the VFW with a UF hat on? You shake his hand and thank him for his service, but then you get in his face, bark at him, and consider throwing in a Gator Chomp-Throat Slash combo for good measure. 

Either you’re “all in’ as a Georgia fan or you aren’t, and it is time to differentiate the true fans from the fake ones.