February 21, 2018: I Make My GTurd Nephews Take Infield Practice in a Gravel Parking Lot

I ​give up.

​I’ve mentioned before that my sister polluted the family gene pool by marrying some loser who graduated from GTurd (Georgia Tech), is an electrical engineer, and never lettered in a damn thing in high school. Their two sons are every bit as frail and pathetic as you’d imagine. But my sister asked if I could try and teach them a few things before the upcoming baseball season so they don’t embarrass the family as much as they did last year, and I reluctantly agreed.

Thinking that second base was the only position they have any hope of not sucking at, I took them to the gravel parking lot behind Arby’s so they could learn that all you need to do is knock the ball down with your body and throw the runner out at first. After the younger one got hit in the face with a ball that took a strange hop, they both started crying and running away from the ball. I eventually started just hitting line drives at them to try and scare them into re-joining the drill, but no dice. I left and texted my sister to go pick them up from Arby’s, because I refuse to be seen with them anymore.

These kids were born to go to GTurd.